Xena Does Dallas

(Note: This is the slightly modified version of a webpage that was on the now defunct Texas Xena Militia (TXM) website. TXM was a group of Texas Xena fans. I take around a 10 inch doll. Texans, of course do everything BIG - they took around a SIX FOOT Standee. Originally posted on the web in 1996)


Since we doubt that Lucy will ever make it to the heart of Texas...we improvised. Obviously we have reached a whole new level of NUTBALL status...previously considered unattainable by normally shy or otherwise sensible gals.

Xena's been to most of the favored tourist attractions in these parts, and then some. We had as much fun "thinking" of weird and wacky places to take Xena for a photo op as we had actually doing it. We got some REAL strange looks, but unfortunately no insalubrious offers we could accept without buying a dog collar and a leash.

We are looking forward to EVENTUALLY taking Gabrielle on a tour of Dallas! (If we ever get a Gabby standee)

Intrepid Photographers and Authors of this Insanity: MFox (Godmother of the TXM) and Rowdy (Pre-Eminent Commander of the TXM)


That damn Ares! First the body switch; now, he's transferred me to a sizable village called Dallas, Texas...and not a bush or scrap of scroll in sight!

(Trinity River floodway - very bad part of town)

WOW! That's one big ......SHAMROCK!

Where's the Dairy Queen? I thought they were ubiquitous in Texas.

(Who says parking garages don't have good photo ops?)


No styrostone or thatched roof, but it's homely...er, I mean homey.

(John Nealy Bryant's cabin; first one built in Dallas - so they say)



Some low-life tried to fish for my breast dagger. Let's just say his 30 seconds are up.

(Planet Hollywood - Dallas West End Marketplace)


What's with the Joxer accessorized, jumbo Solstice Tree??

(Dallas West End Marketplace)


What do you mean, there's no fishing allowed?

(Downtown Dallas park)


Wonder if cow tipping is against the law here?

(Downtown Dallas park)


Strong, silent type in heavy metal, and bigger than life...my kinda guy!

(Downtown Dallas park)

Someone named a dead-end street after MY horse?

(street in Dallas)




No - I'm not the statue, even if I'm bigger than life!

(John F. Kennedy Memorial - Downtown Dallas - somber, architecturally mundane monument)

These people sure like bigger than life statues. Why are those people staring at us?

(Las Colinas...high priced business and residential district)


What do you mean, someone shot R.J.??? !!!
Oh, J.R.....damn, I wish Tyldus would learn how to spell!

(Southfork Ranch - Collin County, TX - where they filmed the TV series DALLAS)

Free public showers with every fill-up. Verrrry Goooood!

(Exxon station - on the road to Athens. Xena did get a little overstimulated by the automatic shower brushes and suds in the car wash)

Are you sure this is the traditional local headgear??

(Unspecified East Texas ranch. Note REAL longhorns in the background)

You said Ted Raimi is directing a spin-off movie...The Perils of Xena???

(Wills Point, TX...nothing else there of interest)

Finally made it to Athens...where the Texans are tolerant and the taverns have tidy toilets.

(O Ye of little faith...who thought she would never make it to Athens)

Ares!! Get me outta here!

(Ft. Worth, TX - historic stockyards area)

Who called me a heifer???!!

(Ft. Worth Stockyards)

Someone named Bubba asked me to Two-Step...fortunately, I have MANY skills.

(Billy Bob's Dance Hall - world's largest honky-tonk)

Obligatory Campfire Scene

(Due to the absence of a Gabrielle standee, this scene is not fully endorsed by the TXM or Xena)



Originally posted on the internet in 1996, posted here in May 2004


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